Sunday, June 10, 2007

Bathrooms (Asian)

I'd heard stories about Japanese toilets. They said that some Japanese people carried keycards with them that, when read by the toilet scanner (the toilet scanner?!), would remember their preferred settings and adjust the seat to their liking. I thought it was a myth. Were the Japanese really so gadget-happy that they put gizmos into their toilets?

Yes. Quite.

Based on my personal experience, these toilets are (at minimum) in hotels, office buildings, and airports. This was good news for me, because those locations assume not everyone speaks Japanese, and the toilet instructions were translated. Not that this really helped.

This is the toilet in my hotel room. Note the flushing mechanism on the wall to the left. In the US, the flushing mechanism is almost always attached to the toilet. So at first I wasn't sure if I should push one of the buttons to flush! (All these complicated controls, and then...a lever? How prosaic!)


A closeup of the instructions on the toilet cover. It's actually pretty good English, but you kind of have to understand what the toilet does before it makes much sense. (the switch? prevent initial cleansing by cold water?) My favorite was the picture indicating you should not step on the toilet, because the thing is weight-sensitive and weight-activated. One of my colleagues admitted that he had leaned his upper body on the toilet so he could figure out what it did without actually having his own ass on the line (literally). Not sure if it worked.

At Narita, the instructions were on the wall in 4 different languages: Japanese, English, Chinese (traditional), and Korean. Again, decent but opaque English: "Washing the rear"? Is that what I think they mean?

One feature is the "flushing sound", made to muffle any embarrasing noises. Apparently Japanese women were wasting a lot of water flushing toilets while using them in order to mask their noises. Toto came up with a virtual solution. I have personally entered a public bathroom, only to be greated by the start of a "flushing sound". Sorry, sister. The "extra deodorizing" feature also helps cover any bad smells. I hereby request international authorities import this feature to continental Europe immediately.

The feature that surprised me the most with its, well, luxury, was actually the heated seat. This isn't some creepy squishy pleather or fuzzy seatcover, it's the standard plastic toilet seat, only not cold. Apparently it's supremely nice in the winter. In rainy April, it was definitely nice. Again, the setting is adjustable (and presumably programmable in your settings card).

If you're interested in learning more or just want a laugh, check out the Toto informational site. I particularly liked the informational video narrated by someone with a distinctly southern twang. Way to make the technology nonthreatening! Word to your marketing department, Toto. Someone should tell them that the standard is to say "please wait" or "loading" when your Flash movie is starting up, and not "preparing the host". Catholic officials might have some questions for you soon.

All this technology comes at a price: when I was in Japan, Toto issued a recall for certain models of toilets. Apparently they were catching fire. Insert Southpark segment here, with sound effects.


When I left Tokyo I flew to Shanghai. Somehow everything seemed noisier, messier, and much more chaotic. And the bathrooms? Yeah. Depressing. (see right)

On a happier note, Building 43 at the Googleplex has Toto toilets. [insert funny remark about Google butt-washing here.]